BREAKING NEWS

According to ESPN:

Mark Mangino will not return as Kansas football coach, a source close to the situation told Joe Schad of ESPN Thursday night.

We will miss you, little fat child. And enormous fat man.  Hopefully you will reappear at another school soon, with another fat baby with a marker moustache.

Because we can't straight up steal The Miz's idea of LOL Hokies (which is well worth the visit), we are going a different route.

We've all seen the great motivational posters talking about leadership and determination.

So we've come up with a few Hokie Motivators (using the site here). Enjoy...

We all knew it was coming.  Sooner or later they would do it.  Virginia Tech has successfully stopped underage drinking.

So we got an email yesterday from one of our sources linking us to a UT site claiming that one of their sources has found out that the Chick-fil-A Bowl is looking to select us and UT for the December 31st game.  After doing a little research (read: googled "VT UT Chick-fil-A"), it turns out there are a TON of sites saying the same damn thing.

Now here's the problem:  Why don't we have any sources getting this information to us early so that we can be one of the first to spread the news?  Come on guys and ladies, get on it.  Talk to your sources and get us this information.  Like my Dad always said, "Many hands make light work".  I want to break some news at some point in time, but without the help of tipsters, that ain't happening.  Except for Gerald, who sent us the aforementioned email.

Anyways, this game looks like it should be a good matchup.  UT has some crazy-ass fans and it should be fun watching RMFW run wild all over an opponent we don't usually play.  Also, at that time, Darren Evans might be back and we can get a preview of next year.  Oh shit, I'm drooling right now.  And I might be slightly aroused.  OK, I'm fully aroused.

Of course, this game hasn't been officially selected yet, but seeing as how all the sites that have announced it are SEC/UT fan sites, there seems to be no good reason for them to choose us getting in over GT or Clemson.  I'll go so far to stake CGally's meager salary on the fact that we go to Atlanta for the third time this year.  Book it.  And this time, we're winning.

A review of our respective records in this bowl:

VT has been there three times and holds a 1-2 record, with the last appearance being a 31-24 loss to Georgia.

Tennessee has been four times and holds a 1-3 record, with the last appearance being a 27-14 loss to Clemson.

We have lost twice in Atlanta this year, and Tennessee has sucked this season.  There is no reason we should lose this game.  None.  Plus, we hate Tennessee.

One last thing:  If (when) we get this bowl bid, If Chick-fil-A wants to do any ads or have us mention them or something, I'm sure we can work out an agreement involving some chicken sandwiches.  That stuff is delicious.

UPDATE: Son of a bitch.  After some further review of the game, turns out that the only broadcaster selected so far to do the Chick-fil-A Bowl is Matt Millen.  Unbelievable.

Over the Thanksgiving break, our dreams of an undefeated season were dashed by a 61-50 loss to Temple. Dreams of actually making the tourney also seemed a bit much after it took overtime to beat Delaware.

But there's one way we can get back on track...

In the biggest no-brianer vote since the repeal of prohibition, RMFW has been named ACC Rookie of the Year. We know this is pretty shocking and all, but try to stay calm.

The vote was actually kind of close, with Boston College's Luke Kuechly getting 29 votes to RMFW's 34. But most voters realized that no one from BC is worth a damn, so the choice was obvious.

Congrats on the award, and more importantly, the new nickname: RMFWACCROY

It has been announced, and these are the Hokies who made the cut:

First Team

RB: Ryan MF Williams, Virginia Tech

K: Matt Waldron, Virginia Tech

LB: Cody Grimm, Virginia Tech

P: Brent Bowden, Virginia Tech

Second Team

TE: Greg Boone, Virginia Tech (Nice to see he got some credit for his skills despite Stiney's unexplained non-use)

OT: Ed Wang, Virginia Tech (HA! Who's next?  Blake DeChristopher?)

DE: Jason Worilds, Virginia Tech

S: Kam Chancellor, Virginia Tech

So who's missing?  Coale was the Wes Welker-type receiver we always need and kept our team alive in quite a few games; granted he didn't have a great season like last year, but I always enjoy watching Virgil; and apparently Boykin's talents fell victim to Stinespring's form-based playcalling.

Add your thoughts to the comment section.

You help get us into the ACC, we help get you a new coach.

Yep, that's right, Al Groh has been canned.

From ESPN.com:

Virginia fired Al Groh after nine seasons as football coach at his alma mater Sunday, ending a tenure marked by his inability to beat rival Virginia Tech.

Groh's dismissal came less than 24 hours after the Cavaliers (3-9, 2-6 Atlantic Coast Conference) lost 42-13 at home to the No. 11 Hokies, finishing their worst season since they were 2-9 in 1982. It also was their eighth loss to the Hokies in Groh's nine tries.

See here's where all the UVA people were wrong about us.  We weren't kicking your ass for 8 years just because it was fun.  We were doing it because we knew that you needed a new coach.  That's altruism, bitches.  We took one for the team.  We didn't want to own you so hard that your school became one of the biggest laughingstocks in college football.  We just knew that it is always darkest before the dawn.  We had to be that darkness.  It hurt us more than it hurt you.

Now here is the catch.  You can pick anyone out there to be your new head coach.  But if you take Bud Foster from us, we will murder you.  Let it be known.

FOUR TOUCHDOWNS?!?!  HE HAD FOUR TOUCHDOWNS...AGAIN?!?!

Don't forget he had four TDs last game.  That means he has had 8 TOUCHDOWNS IN TWO GAMES!!

The only thing this means is:  Ryan Williams is a fucking BEAST.

As commenter d_w said via CGally, his nickname should now be RMFW.  If you have to ask what that means, just go to bed.

42-13.  Gobble gobble, bitches.

The annual drubbing of UVA starts today at 3:30. Predictions after the jump... (spoiler alert: we all think Tech will win)