Independence Bowl: Tulsa

One last go ’round.

Jump it.

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Last Ever Non-Metallica Pump-Up Song of the Week

Yeah. It’s the last one.

We’re going to miss frantically scouring YouTube, looking for a good pump up song then just going with Coheed.

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Last Ever Last Week – UVA

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

It’s just unreal at this point.

The entire lifespan of this blog saw exactly ZERO wins by UVA against Tech.

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Every year. It will never be not funny.

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Last Ever The Good Guys

FUENTE, BITCHES!!

For like, the past decade all we’ve wanted was an offensive guru to be paired with Bud Foster on defense.

There is nothing but excitement ahead for this program.

As for this bowl game?

Well, it’s of course Beamer’s last game.

But really, this feels like an epilogue to the finale was kicking the shit out of UVA in their own house to close it out for Beamer’s career.

For once, the bowl game feels like a bonus.

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Last Ever The Bad Guys

There is no way in shit we’re looking up anything about Tulsa.

We know they’re in Louisiana… we think.

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Last Ever The Series

The last time we met Tulsa was in 1978.

You humble editor wasn’t even born yet.

Poppa Gally was fresh out of undergrad.

And B-Dubs was like 45 with a mortgage. Still single though.

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Last Ever The Game

Beamer’s last game basically makes this the most important pre-New Year’s Eve bowl game of the year.

Holy SHIT we have to win this game.

I take back everything I said earlier about it being an after-credit scene.

We better f*cking win this game for Beamer. And if we don’t, Shreveport is in for a lot of rioting.

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Last Ever B-Dubs’ Factual Corner

Each week, B-Dubs performs some level of research (because someone around here has to) and provides analysis that has been described by sky-writing experts as, “Acceptable.”

No facts about Tulsa this week because I’m on vacation and nobody gives a shit about them. They suck and we should beat them as long as Loefler doesn’t over complicate things. That’s it.

Instead, I’ll dedicate this section to facts about NEZ, C Gally and good ole Frank.

First, “contributing” to NEZ was a blast. Reading it was even better. Drinking to it was obviously the best. This blog was like no other and I’ll miss the drunken rants we provided on a weekly basis.

Next, C Gally is a longtime good friend. We met in college and had many drunken times together. We continue to have a few every now and again, but apparently we are now adults and he’s married, so I guess that means we should behave a bit more. He’s a good dude and deserves a lot of credit for putting this site together. Thanks for everything!

Finally, it seems appropriate that NEZ has its last breath the same season Beamer retires. In fact, NEZ and Beamer planned it that way. He made it know that he was a huge fan of NEZ and its drunken rants. In fact, he let us know that he played the NEZ drinking game while he was coaching! It’s been an honor, Frank.

GO HOKIES!

[Editor’s note: Been a privilege, B-Dubs. As the only guy that reads about other teams and match-ups and recruiting and all that shit, you’ve given our little blog a level of respectability slightly above ESPN comment sections. You’re still old though.]

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Last Ever Drinking Rules of the Game

Drink any time…

-Someone mentions that it’s Frank’s last game (LET’S GET HAMMERED EVERYONE!!)

-You see some Christmas-related costume in the crowd

-You figure out what Tulsa’s mascot / nickname is.

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Last Ever CMU Football Analyst Something or other

Each week, the CMU Football Analyst sends us… something. This week, he sends Beamer out in style:

Happy Trails Beamer

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Last Ever Frank Costanza Retirement Rant

Since your humble editor is retiring at the end of this season, I’ll be using this section for random rants. Think of it as a weekly Hatefest. I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!

It’s Christmas. I don’t feel like being angry.

Everything is great!

Family! Presents! Booze!

What more could you ask for?

Oh. A Hokies win. That’s right.

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Last Ever Predictions

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With a prediction of 24-21, Maniak wins the UVA prediction!

His present?

The best horse in the world:

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On to this week:

DiP: [Ed. Note: 14 (14!!) weeks still going, and we’re still trying to find out when DiP will actually read this blog.  Last chance DiP…. DiP, if you text me the following phrase, I will give you $5: “I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.”]

The Northerner: Hokies really show up for Frank on this one (and let’s be honest, maybe even a little for CGally). They pitch a shut out for most of the game until they start putting in the backups.  Beamer gets a bath, Bud gets a hug, and Loeffler gets the eff out. Throw in a blocked punt and a pick 6. Hokies 34 — 6.

D_w: Hokies win this one 29 – 10, defense forces and early safety and beamer ball shows up with a block punt and a blocked field goal. Sends Beamer off in true Beamer Ball fashion in his last game as the Hokies’ HC. Thank You Frank.

 

B-Dubs: It’s gonna be one last sloppy game for Loefler, but here’s to focusing on Beamer’s last game ever. This is the bowl where his streak started, but instead of losing 23-7 like the Hokies did in 1984, they’ll win with that score over Tulsa. We’ll miss you Frank!!

G Way: The emotions are high. Everybody cries. Hokies win one last game for Beamer 45-17.

CMU Football Analyst: Hokies will come out pumped up and take an early lead but Tulsa makes it a close game. Final score VT 24 Tulsa 20.

Beamer ascends into the heavens directly after the game.

Maniak: Drunk on his own victory.

Token Girl: Truly the end of an era…the Hokies play a full 3-3 1/2 quarters of football, beating Tulsa 41-20. Thanks for everything Frank….I will continue to have our lovely photo as my profile pic through the bowl game.

Poppa Gally: Still too happy about the UVA win to submit a prediction.

Wright: Tulsa can score (at least that’s what I’m told, can’t say I watch a lot of Friday night AAC games). Hokies score early and often like the teams of old in Beamer’s finale and win 33-23. Frank thanks the fans graciously before nut punching Loeffler to the fans’ delight.

C Gally: One last win for Beamer. One last perfect prediction for C Gally. Beamer pulls out all the stops and goes nuts on offense. Hokies win 27 – 10.

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Last Ever Hokie Hero

Our favorite of all time.

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Sig Hansen – F/V Northwestern

Bring it home one more time for Beamer.

LET’S GO HOKIES!!!

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