OK, it’s official now. Anytime a basketball post is written on this site, the Hokies immediately lose. Then again, losing may be a direct result of us, ummm, well you know, SUCKING.Since the last post, we are now 0-2 with close losses to UVA and Duke. We’ll speak a bit more on that after the jump, but for now, let’s take a moment to reflect this season. <insert moment of silence here> OK. Thanks for your attention. Now back to Hokie basketball. We play Clemson tonight and all signs point to us losing. Click to read more, bitches.
Pretty sure Seth has to take a huge #2
OK. So Tech finds themselves squarely on the bubble again this year. Yes, Hokie Nation, we are once again fighting to get into the tournament. Oh, but not THAT tournament. Not the one that really matters. We’re actually struggling to make the NIT. In fact, if we lose our last two games, we are probably a lock to be a #1 seed in the CBI. Oh, and by the way, Weaver refuses to play in that tournament because it’s too costly. Not that we couldn’t use the extra games for practice or anything. Because like it’s been said…
How adorable. This actually came from Vanderbilt’s website
Rant on UVA and Duke Games
Honestly, what more needs to be said other than chokefest? Both games were very winnable and both times we absolutely blew it. First things first – explain to me how you go nearly 13 minutes without scoring a field goal…THIRTEEN MOTHA *UCKIN’ MINUTES!!! Honestly, who does that? Excuse me, Seth, while I run my head into a wall. It’s funny how our head coach can’t get our boys to stop taking awful jump shots and contested threes when driving to the basket was working all night. Seriously, how about you call a gosh darn timeout and do some coaching?
Then we have Duke. Seriously. How do we fold in that game? You have an opportunity to beat Duke in Cameron Indoor and you absolutely blow it. Sure, it didn’t help that the refs were blowing their whistles over phantom fouls, but what do you expect? You just have to suck it up and deal with it. Learn to *ucking finish a basketball game. I wonder if Seth realizes that there are two halves, each being 20 minutes – not sure if he does or not. Whatever. Another close loss. Close is for horseshoes and goddamn hand grenades. Too bad we’re not playing baseball here because then we’d bring in Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn.
Wild Thing, you make my heart sing
Basketball Fail of the Week
You know, it’s amazing how many boneheaded plays PROFESSIONAL athletes make. It’s ridiculous they get paid absurd amounts of money, yet the are constantly making the worst decisions on the face of the planet. It’s great for us since we can keep showing you these fails, but for *uck’s sake man, at least act like you know what you’re doing! This week, we bring you Martell Webster.
Suck it nerd!
Honestly, not much else can be said for these guys. It’s just been a rather painful year as a whole. And we are also becoming inconsistent again in free throw shooting. Looks like the old Virginia Tech free throw shooting ways have returned. It was only a matter of time…
Well, we beat this team once, but we sure as hell tried to give it away. One of their best players in Milton Jennings was out the first time we played due to a suspension, but is now back and is going to give us fits. He is another big body that will probably abuse us. In addition, it’s senior night for Clemson, so we got that going against us. Finally, Clemson is on a roll right now having won four of their last five, including victories over UVA and NC State. Needless to say, we have our work cut out for ourselves tonight.
So, this week, we’re going to also talk about why we hate Clemson:
1) That stupid tiger tail that hangs from their trunks. Awful.
2) Dabo Sweeney telling recruits that he loves them. Stupid ass.
3) What is up with that WOO HOO ridiculousness? It’s so effing stupid. Get a life.
4) Why is their football stadium called Death Valley? That’s LSU.
5) They wear orange overalls. Ewwwwww.
Honestly, because we’re trying to make fun of the coach as much as possible, most of the highest matching celebrities could not be used because that would just be an absolute insult to them. So, we had to reach a bit. Clemson head coach Brad Brownell just screams douchebag when you look at him. You just can’t help it. So, it’s fitting that he is matched with this celebrity, even if it is pre-breakdown.
Yup, Mr. Charlie Sheen himself. And yes, we really have brought him into the blog twice in one post. We’re just as shocked as you. Again, this is before Sheen absolutely went insane, but the resemblances are uncanny. Perhaps it’s a matter of time before we see Brownell travel down the same path…
Clemson Pump Up Video
Did anyone know that Malcom Delaney is playing in Europe? France, if you want to get specific. Yeah, we didn’t know that either. However, fellow contributor D_W figured we could use this video for this write-up. So, enjoy some MD23 highlights and we’ll see you after the game!