Western Carolina. The Catamounts. Our Arch Nemesis. HA. But seriously. We need to crrrush them to get ourselves back on track for the season. Last week is over, time to move on to our real schedule.
You know what to do.
No one wins the prediction challenge. Our first game and we don't get no winner. Boo hoo.
I don't really know how to feel about the game last weekend. On one hand, we got beat pretty soundly, and only score one TD. On the other hand, we only lost by 25 to the two-time reigning National Champion Number 1 ranked Alabama. And two of those touchdowns were special teams awfulness that Frankie B really needs to fix. All in all, though, I don't think we played terribly. I mean if we play like that against all the teams left on our schedule, we might actually be decent. But I'll leave the analysis up to the people who actually get paid to do that. I only get the occasional free t-shirt from CGally and the gratuitous admiration from our three readers (Hi Mom!). Let's move on.
Onto this week’s predictions!
BDubs: I heard the WCU athletic department recently converted their football field from grass to turf in order to prevent the females from grazing….ba-zing!! Not that it matters since we play in Lane and our girls are much hotter. Hokies win 48-10 and CGally pays me $5.
DiP: I don't do funny I make the money. (Ed. Note: HA!) As the self proclaimed voice of the degenerate gambler on The North Endzone, I only pick winners. I will go with my same score from last week 38-10 but Hokies win this time. Also, no chance the Hokies cover 42.5 with what was seen last week. Hell, I might even take the under on a Logan Thomas completion percentage of 42.5.
d_w: Hokies take an early lead thanks to bud foster's defense providing amazing field position for logan to hand the ball to trey "I need a north endzone nickname" edmunds. The Hokies are so far ahead in the 4th quarter that the 2nd string guys should be in, but the first string WRs were so bad last week coach Moorehead forces them to play ever snap at full speed while Mark Leal comes in and hands the ball off for an entire quarter.
Hokies win 42 – 6.
Wright: All I know is Western Carolina wears purple (seen my fair share of WC games at VMI), so they deserve to get the hell beat out of them. Uncomfortable 10 point lead at half leads to 34-10 win. Logan still doesn't throw over 60% for efficiency but Trey lights it up.
CMU Football Analyst: Western Carolina? Was north east central Carolina busy? Naming a school after a direction on a compass is just lazy. 27 – 10 central Virginia hokies.
Poppa Gally: It will be a record setter!! 4 blocked kicks…Hokies win 47 – 7! (Ed. Note: only one excalamation point? I am disappoint.)
Hokie Ambassador to
Africa Philly Milwaukee: Trey Edmunds picks up more yards than the entire Western Carolina team. Tech scores more points on defense and special teams than on offense and the Hokies roll 41 – 10.
Maniak: Trey Edmunds looks like uncle (perry) Ferrell Edmunds and goes for two touchies. Special Teams comes back to life and gets a block. Defense holds the Catamounts scoreless in the first half and we aren't far behind until Logan hits DJ Coles for a long touchdown in the 2nd. 42-15
STH Hokie: Didn't know we were supposed to be funny. My bad.
Virginia Tech gives cat scratch fever to the Catamounts, beating them 45-7. Despite this, Aaron Moorehead is forced to implement middle school athletic policies in order to create a "fifth quarter" so the receivers can get extra work catching the ball. The PUGs machine will have two less interceptions in this quarter than Logan Thomas.
GWay: Hokies give Edmunds two runs, and they pass on every other play so LT and the receivers can get it together. Or the Hokie Bird finds an actual Catamount and rides it around Lane the entire time. Hokies 48-3
JMcB: What in the heck is a Catamount? Are we playing a football game or World of Warcraft online? Hokies 35, other team who has a confusing mascot 14
Token Girl: 35-14 hokies. We should be ranked 3rd in the nation after the game….
HAHA (said in nelson muntz voice.)
CGally: Defense comes to play, but the offense struggles. Please repeat this prediction throughout the season.
Defense forces 5 turnovers and we do something stupid on special teams to give the Cata-douches a touchdown.
Hokies win, 38-7
The Northerner: This team has the potential to be decent this year, and I think it starts this week. Much like everyone else does. Hokies win 42-9, keep the Catamounts out of the end zone, and get at least one score on defense/ST. Boom. Kenny Rogers.
It looks like everyone is going with the Hokies this week, AS THEY SHOULD. BANHAMMER isn’t going to come out this week, unless someone in the comment section decides to go off their rocker and pick against us. Knowing our readers, I wouldn't count on it, but they can surprise you. Be warned commenters: the BANHAMMER will find you. You can't run, you might was well hide.
Western Carolina. Cupcake. Let's do this as we should. Give them their money and their drubbing and send them on their way. No funny business. I'm looking at you offense. Get it done.
There you have it, your predictions. As always, throw your predictions in the comment section.
Gobble gobble, bitches.
Let’s Go Hokies!!