Game 6: Central Michigan


Pictured, actual Central Michigan linebacker.

Post-comeback hangover? Hardly. All the reasons Tech wins and Central Michigan remains irrelevant, after the jump…


Non-Metallica Pump-Up Song of the Week

To honor our opponents, lets go with an ode to a place you rather be than Central Michigan Universtiy.


Holy schnikees, what a freaking game. We may have struggled early this season, but we are very much in the running to win this shitty, shitty conference.

Two seasons. Two crazy-ass comebacks. Clearly, this is not your father’s Frank Beamer.

Are we actually making adjustments at halftime? Have we stopped playing Xbox during the break? Has Tyrod’s mom decided to provide orange slices to the team?

All possible explanations.

At any rate, we’ll take it. We’re officially a second half team now, kids. We might give up 17 points for no reason whatsoever early on, but now we have hope that we can overcome.


The Bad Guys

Oh my, Central Michigan. The fake CMU. We learned much about the Whimpewa’s during HateFest. And after setting a record for comments for any NEZ post, we now hate them even more.

As for the actual team? We have no clue. Nor do we feel like looking anything up about them. They had some donkey quarterback a while back, and he apparently threw for a whole lotta yards.

…Anyone care? Nope, didn’t think so.

Wow, a college football quarterback threw for a ton of yards at a shit school in a shit conference. STOP THE PRESSES.

Timmy Chang is on line one. He says to hurry up, it’s cold in Canada.

Make no mistake: this team sucks. Yeah, we said that about JMU, too. But we still stand by that. We just happened to suck more.

Central Michigan lost to Ball State. That is all.


The Good Guys

If these guys are pumped as hell right now, we’re not sure what it’s going to take. After a win like that, the tunnel should be on fire this Saturday, cupcake or not.

Evans and Tyrod are making defenders their bitch right now. Davon Morgan has become this year’s Cody Grimm. And Hazley… well, he still kind of sucks. But we’ll forgive him.

And after such a big win, we need to keep it going during…


The Game

Momentum is the key this week. We need to put this one away quickly to avoid nervousness and stress. We’ve got three winnable home games until Georgia Tech, and taking all four would be HUGE.

But this bullshit on offense needs to stop. I can’t remember exactly the situation (drinking with Poppa Gally usually leads to memory loss), but at one point, we threw a screen pass on 3rd and 12. I remember being livid, and probably very, very offensive (sorry, fellow Pittsburgh Hokies).

Another special teams touchdown keeps Voldemort from being vilified. Same old, same old.


Needs-a-Nickname of the Week

Davon Morgan


It’s high time Davon got his very own nickname. Since we’re not very creative, we’re counting on our dozen of readers to help us out.

Any submissions involving “Morgan-town” will be immediately deleted.


Twitter Response of the Week

From HokiesfanAndrea:

@hokieguru @TheNorthEndzone How cool would it be if the band played the first 6 secs of this after a Friday tackle …

Any band members out there, make this happen.


Random Hokie Motivator

Each week, the Carnegie Mellon Football Analyst submits his own Hokie Motivator. This week, a straightforward submission.


Also American for badass? That goatee.


RMFW T-Shirt of the Week

Each week, we’ll post another avid reader wearing their awesome (and very affordable!) RMFW t-shirt. Send in your picture, and you too could be showcased on a mid-level Virginia Tech blog!

This week, WeeLeigh and Shitzel show off their shirts and their incredibly huge muscles in front of an incredibly awesome score.


Well done ladies.


Replacement Offensive Coordinator of the Week

We don’t know much about Michigan. We know it gets cold, and they only have one real football team. There’s not much to do, since there are no jobs there. So we assume people watch a lot of TV.

So we are going with the man that put Michigan, hardware, and bad Christmas movies on the map…

Tim “The Toolman” Taylor

So get this… Tim Allen actually went to Central Michigan. But, it sucked SOOOO much, that he transferred to rival Western Michigan!!

So, Chippewas, how’s The Toolman’s ass taste?

Almost as good the Hokie Bird’s.