Alright, so The Miz was getting bitchy and wants us to update, and since CGally is a lazy POS, I guess I’ll have to do it. Since I don’t have the time or urge to go find an original topic, I’ll just go over what happened this weekend.
1. In case you all didn’t know, our humble editor had a berfday this weekend. I think he turned 87 yesterday. I don’t know. He’s old. But if some of us didn’t happen to say happy birthday yesterday, then let this be the time for us to repent and say “Happy Birthday, you day-walking whore”.
2. Maryland played Duke. Wait wait, let me rephrase that. Maryland had a game against Duke. I’m not sure much playing by the Terps actually happened. In case you were wondering about this one, the Terps lost TO DUKE. Duke finally has gotten consecutive ACC conference wins for the first time since 1994. Looks like Friedgen is going to be losing more than 150 pounds this year, if you know what I mean. You don’t? He’s getting his ass fired. There you go, simpleton.
3. UVA is fucking worthless. They can’t even get double digits against Georgia Tech, let alone beat them. Last time we root for them for anything. Go choke on your ties, Wa-Losers. Ba-ZING!
4. The Yankees beat the Angels to get to the World Series. I hope the Phillies sweep their clean-shaven, non-run manufacturing, overpaid asses.
5. It’s really difficult to pick out the worst team in the NFL this year. I mean you have the winless Bucs, the winless Rams, the winless Titans, the pathetic Raiders and their constant shitshow, and of course, the Redskins. They are awful. I mean awful. One funny joke that we found on The Miz’s site is this one:
HEADLINE: “D.C. Police are cracking down on speeders. For the first offense, they give you two Redskins tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they give you two Nationals tickets.”
But this one is good too:
I laughed for a solid five minutes with that one. And the best part? They don’t seem to be figuring out their problems anytime soon.
6. Miami lost to Clemson in OT. It was AWESOME. Breaking News: There has been a murder in Miami. Swagger has been killed. I repeat, Swagger has been killed. The police suspect that a Tiger and a Turkey were accomplices.
So there you have it. CGally is old as shit and we probably won’t make it to the ACC Championship this year. But also! Miami lost and Maryland still sucks, so it wasn’t that bad of a weekend. I leave you with a picture that sums up the UVA game this weekend, enjoy.