Hatefest 2009: Why We Hate… Boston College

Oh Boston College, you are adorable. Tech just dangles that piece of bacon in front of your face, and at the last second we yank it away. Then we leave for Miami to play in a BCS Bowl.

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The Team
The Eagles have been a solid rival in the ACC. We’ve apparently struck a deal in which they win the regular season game, while Tech takes the ACC Championship. We both wind up in Florida for bowl season, but BC goes to the Boca Raton Bowl and is usually all finished up by Christmas.

Matt-f***ing-Ryan will live in VT lore forever. Not that we knew it at the time, but his last minute drive to take down the Hokies on that fateful Thursday night kept us out of the National title game and the opportunity to get rolled twice in a season by LSU.

And remember go Jagoffinski? “The fans will not be a factor. We just came from Notre Dame, the crowd will not effect us.” How was the Douchebag.com Bowl or wherever the hell you wound up that year? In fairness, he was fired from BC. I think he’s selling insurance with Major Harris right now.

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The Fans
Fans? JMU women’s tennis has more devoted fans than BC football. I’d love to rag on supporters of the Eagles, but I honestly haven’t met one.

Other teams have alumni that travel to bowl games. BC just pays local homeless people to attend the games in yellow shirts.

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The Town
Boston sucks.

That was for The Northerner. But seriously, haven’t been. I assume that as a college town, it’s kind of a drag. Nothing gives you that small town college feel like 5 million people.

It’s always about 20 degrees outside during the school year. No one in the town cares about anything other than the “FAHCKIN’ SAWX”. Everyone talks in that annoying accent. Sounds like a great place to be a college football fan/athlete.

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The School
The school’s pretty solid. But who has Astroturf any more? Do you think the 20 people in the stands like to watch that kind of football?

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Alumni
Just like their football team, the BC alumni just can’t seem to make it. From John Kerry to Amy Poehler, the Eagles just can’t seem to make it happen. Tina Fey and George Bush will always come out on top.

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I guess that’s enough kicking of teams when they’re already down. Florida schools get theirs this week.

Get ready folks, only 4 more schools to destroy until kickoff.