Here is the ultimate bowl guide. Find out who is going to win and why. Well, the why part is really only included in a few. Enjoy!
R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
Dec. 22, 8 p.m. New Orleans
Rice vs. Troy
Speaking from experience, if your team is playing in a bowl game in New Orleans, GO. It really doesn’t matter who you’re playing or if you win. JUST GO.
Dec. 23, 1 p.m. Birmingham, Ala.
South Florida vs. East Carolina
Pick: South Florida
Both teams played WVU, but only USF pulled out the victory. Funny how less intimidating Mountaineer Field becomes at noon on a Saturday while listening to Pam Ward call the game.
Dec. 23, 4:30 p.m. Albuquerque, N.M.
New Mexico vs. San Jose State
Pick: San Jose State
Considering the bowl is named after a participant, I think SJ State will be feeling disrespected. Also, does anyone think that Albuquerque would be the town it is today without Bugs Bunny?
Bell Helicopter Armed Forces
Dec. 23, 8 p.m. Fort Worth, Texas
Tulsa vs. Utah
If you are a helicopter company, is it really in your best interests to sponsor a bowl game? A lot of football fans buying helicopters these days?
Dec. 24, 8 p.m. Honolulu
Hawaii vs. Arizona State
Another bowl named after a participant. I think Blacksburg should start the Virginia Tech Bowl. 2nd place in the ACC goes and plays in Lane Stadium. Completely neutral though. But if you are Hawaii, where else would you want to travel for a game? You live in freaking Hawaii.
Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m. Detroit
Middle Tennessee vs. Central Michigan
Pick: Central Michigan
Congrats, you get to spend Christmas in Detroit. I hear the half-time show is a rap battle. All kidding aside, this battle is really between what to call the area between the Western and Eastern parts of your state. Is it middle or central? The ensuing bloodshed should be astronomical.
Dec. 27, 8 p.m. San Francisco
Florida State vs. UCLA
Anyone notice the downfall of Florida State coincides with Jenn Sterger “graduating” to do marvelous writing for CNNSI.com? Is anyone aside from FSU fans actually rooting for Bowden to get more wins than Paterno? Does anyone not either love or hate about FSU? And what’s the deal with the razor blade slot in airplane bathrooms? Are people actually shaving in there? And shaving so much, they are using up razor blades?
Dec. 28, 4:30 p.m. Shreveport, La.
Oklahoma State vs. Alabama
Pick: Oklahoma State
There are 60-some kids at Alabama that pretty much feel like shit right now. No one wants to coach them. Hell, Miami and Florida International found coaches faster.
Pacific Life Holiday
Dec. 28, 8 p.m. San Diego
Texas A&M vs. California
Pick: Texas A&M
Seriously, does anyone travel for bowls any more? I picked the Aggies because I can completely relate to their plight. The taunt “What the hell is a (insert school mascot not an obvious animal or person)?” just isn’t that creative anymore. Yeah, we came up with something better than Wildcats or Eagles or Tigers.
Dec. 28, 8 p.m. Houston
Rutgers vs. Kansas State
Maybe it’s the ACC in me, but I’m pretty sure the Coach of the Year shouldn’t be playing in the Texas Bowl. Schiano is definitely Coach of 2004-2006, but not Coach of This Year. Grobe took a Wake Forest team to the Orange Bowl. Wake Forest. The freaking Orange Bowl. Schiano beat Louisville, at home. Last time I checked, one big win often fell into the Blind-Squirrel category.
Gaylord Hotels Music City
Dec. 29, 1 p.m. Nashville, Tenn.
Clemson vs. Kentucky
Must be pretty emasculating for the players when the game they are playing in is named Gaylord. The only way this would be acceptable is if it included “Focker” in the title. Despite the fabulous orange and purple uniforms, I think Clemson will be taken down by the Fighting Lorenzen’s.
Dec. 29, 2 p.m. El Paso, Texas
Oregon State vs. Missouri
Pick: Oregon State
A bowl named after a cologne. Apparently the bowl system has decided to try that to hide its smell like the French.
Dec. 29, 4:30 p.m. Memphis, Tenn.
South Carolina vs. Houston
Pick: South Carolina
Just wondering how many cars will be broken down after the game. Do they get free service?
Dec. 29, 7:30 p.m. Tempe, Ariz.
Texas Tech vs. Minnesota
Pick: Texas Tech
Don’t you long for the days when this was referred to as the DotCom Bowl? That truly showed what a crappy game it was. Apparently, Insight got news of the tech crash. Papa John’s did not.
Dec. 29, 8 p.m. Orlando, Fla.
Purdue vs. Maryland
I have a problem with Purdue and Maryland playing in anything with the name “Champs” in it. Quite a fall from grace for the Terps. Win their last game over Wake Forest, and they have a shot at the BCS. They lost, and are now playing here. Dagger.
Meineke Car Care
Dec. 30, 1 p.m. Charlotte, N.C
Navy vs. Boston College
Question: Who has the longest bowl winning streak? No, ESPN, it’s not Notre Dame. BC does. No real major wins in their 6 game stretch, but they are on another streak. Look at the words that have appeared in their bowls for the past 3 years: Meineke, Tire, and Computer. Fruit makes sense to go into bowls. Tires and computers do not.
Dec. 30, 4:30 p.m. San Antonio
Texas vs. Iowa
Now we are into some good bowls. Texas is going to win this bowl because Iowa almost lost to Syracuse. Period.
Dec. 30, 8 p.m. Atlanta
Georgia vs. Virginia Tech
Pick: Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University
So let me get this straight. The bowl that has been called the Peach Bowl for almost 40 years sells out to Chick-fil-A?? Are you kidding? Virginia Tech will win because we’re awesome. The North End Zone would like to be there, but we will have to curse Stinespring the Evil Offensive Coordinator from afar. We will be taking a shot for every draw play that goes for no gain, and every play inside the 5 that doesn’t get in the end zone.
Dec. 31, 7:30 p.m. Boise, Idaho
Miami vs. Nevada
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Will anyone not enjoy seeing Miami play in 20 degree weather on blue turf? I know I will! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Jan. 1, 11 a.m. Tampa, Fla.
Tennessee vs. Penn State
Not that anyone will be up at 11 a.m. New Year’s Day, but this could be a good one. This may be the best sponsored bowl name ever. Honestly, if Outback wasn’t a restaurant, this could still be called the Outback Bowl. You’d have to move it Australia, but that’s cool.
Jan. 1, 11:30 a.m. Dallas
Auburn vs. Nebraska
Ok, so this game is starting at 10:30 local time?? Tell me this bowl system isn’t screwed up. Just try. Oh, and Nebraska is horrible. They may be the first team to ever be ranked out of process of elimination.
Jan. 1, 1 p.m. Jacksonville, Fla.
West Virginia vs. Georgia Tech
Pick: WVU Update: Georgia Tech will win!
2 teams with disappointing years. Bobby Bowden was coaching the last time WVU beat an ACC team in a bowl… he was coaching WVU. WVU is also 0-4 in the Gator Bowl. With what should be a walk in the park in this year’s game, WVU will have won 2 bowl games in a row. This is all but incredible considering the years of Don Nehlen. 4-9 in bowl games, losing 8 in a row from ’87 – ’98.
Update: After hearing of Reggie Ball’s ineligibility, I have officially changed my position. With Ball out, GT will certainly have the advantage. There is no longer anyone on the Yellow Jackets that will throw the ball to WVU defenders.
Jan. 1, 1 p.m. Orlando, Fla.
Arkansas vs. Wisconsin
Why does Capital One strike me as a legitimate sponsor? I don’t feel that bad saying “Capital One Bowl”. Must be the vikings. Worst part about watching this will be hearing what’s in your wallet about 50 million times.
Rose Bowl presented by Citi
Jan. 1, 5 p.m. Pasadena, Calif.
USC vs. Michigan
Here are the big boys. I love how one argument against using the big 4 bowl games as a playoff is that it would diminish the meaning of those bowls. Pretty sure neither of these teams are happy to be playing in the Rose Bowl right now. I pick Michigan because I may break the TV if I hear that freaking USC fight song one more time. Congrats, you gained a yard and a half. I don’t need to hear it again. You guys are like the Little Giants.
Jan. 1, 8 p.m. Glendale, Ariz
Boise State vs. Oklahoma
I picked Oklahoma, but no one really wins in this game. The Fiesta Bowl people must be hating life right now. 2 years ago they get treated to Utah vs. Pittsburgh. Now they get 2 teams who’s only nationally known player hasn’t set foot on a field for 2 months. Oh, there is the guy that knits on Boise State. Grandmothers all over the country will be tuning in.
Jan. 2, 8 p.m. Miami
Louisville vs. Wake Forest
Pretty sure Wake Forest will still sleep at night after losing this game. Quite the season. Despite being destroyed by Virginia Tech. At home. Just saying, you know? Anyways, another blah BCS game that I’ll still watch because I’m addicted to college football. I think ESPN has been putting nicotine in their broadcasts for the past 10 years.
Jan. 3, 8 p.m. New Orleans
Notre Dame vs. LSU
The last senior class to see Notre Dame win a bowl game are now 34 years old. I could say that all day. Their average margin of loss since their last bowl win: 16.5 points. They beat exactly one ranked team this year. That was an 8-4 Penn State team. Oh, and they lost 2 games by 20 points or more. They totally deserve to be here. I hope LSU makes Brady Quinn cry like he’s JJ Redick. I can’t wait until all the sportswriters born before 1960 become bedridden and retire so we can ship Notre Dame to the back of the line.
Jan. 6, Noon Toronto
Western Michigan vs. Cincinnati
Yeah, that thing I said about the big boys, forget it for a few days. You know bowls are getting out of hand when 2 Directional Michigan teams are in bowls. I can’t even dignify this bowl with anything further. It’s in Canada!
Jan. 7, 8 p.m. Mobile, Ala.
Ohio vs. Southern Miss
Its Ohio and Southern Miss. In Mobile, Alabama.
Tostitos BCS Championship Game
Jan. 8, 8 p.m. Glendale, Ariz
Florida vs. Ohio State
See, here’s the thing. I hate Florida. I don’t really care for Ohio State, but I’d root for them over Florida. Except for this time. I want Florida to give us Ohio State, Florida, Michigan/USC, and possibly Louisville and Wisconsin with one loss. Plus, a possible Boise State undefeated team. Who wins? Hopefully the fans, with a better system than this.