Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy... I'm so pumped.  Arguably the biggest game of the year for us, and FedEx Field is going to be rocking.  I don't care if the acoustics aren't as good as Lane Stadium, it's still going to be LOUD.  On to the predictions!

Yeah it was cheap, but that BSU guy still looks like a douche.

What, did you think we left you? We wouldn't miss this for the world. After the jump, The North End Zone is back up in yo ass with the resurrection....

We don’t hate Boise State because of their blue field (though it is a little “look at me!”-ish) or because they pulled the crazy upset on Oklahoma a few years ago with the trick play.  No, no, we don’t hate them for that.  We hate them because 1. They’re good, and 2.  They refuse to prove it.

Look, our hatred of UVA is by no means a secret. And there’s no WAY this post could reach the levels of hilarity of the Central Michigan post.

Thus, being crunched for time, your humble editor will rely on the laziest of all jokes:

You might be a Wahoo if…

…you’ve ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without intending to “ice” someone.

…you consider receiving inheritance your career.

…you STILL pop your collar, even though that went out with the bankruptcy of Zima, Inc.

…your rival actually asks you NOT to fire your coach*. *Seriously, this is more amazing than people realize. Groh was so terrible that Tech fans loved him, and he still wasn’t fired!! Name another time this has happened, ever!

…the first pick in your fantasy football league was Matt Schaub.

…you continue to think you can drink your own weight. Mint juleps are REALLY filling.

...you can’t name your starting tailback. (Don’t worry, the rest of the country can’t either.)

…you wonder how JMU has so much success in football.

…you think your Croakies say something about you. (They do.)

…your mascot is a slave-owning land baron not named Brett Favre.

…you honestly believe that mojitos aren’t gay.

…you can’t even say “wait until basketball season” anymore.

…you cry a little every night over not getting into an actual Ivy League school.

…half of your family doesn’t talk to the other half due to some argument over money.

...you leave the pregnant mother of your two kids for a 22-year-old intern, with whom you’ve had a lengthy extra-marital affair. Ironically, your father did the same thing to your mother, and you hated him for it.

…your football players have a higher dropout rate than an Asian Driver’s Ed course.

…you don’t understand the jokes in this post.

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So enjoy that blue-blood life, Cavs fans.

Sadly, we don't have trust funds. No no, we EARNED college.

Georgia Tech sucks. Here’s why (in no particular order):

1. The Triple Option

2. Joshua Nesbitt

3. Paul Johnson

4. The “Ramblin’ Wreck”

5. Atlanta

6. Bobby Dodd Stadium

7. Not being called Ga Tech

8. Bees

9. “Buzz”

10. October 17, 2009

Add your own in the comment section. Screw you GT.

In all my six years at Virginia Tech, I'm kind of surprised I have never seen this drink being done at tailgates all around Blacksburg.  I mean it could have been thought up previously, but I have never seen or heard of anyone doing it.  So for all intents and purposes, we're introducing the world to the Official North End Zone Pre-Gametime Tailgate Drink.  We call it, "The Defensive Coordinator".

Recipe:

Combine half a can of Budweiser (or Bud Light, for the ladies) with half a can of Foster's in a keg cup

Drop/pour in one shot of Wild Turkey bourbon

Enjoy/Chug/Sip/etc.

Again, this may have been thought up before, but the people I have talked to about it (and they are some well traveled, hardcore VT tailgaters) have never heard of anyone putting this bad boy together.

I am posting this now so that there is plenty of time to get your supplies ready for the Boise State game this upcoming weekend (side note: WOOOOO) and because as you have obviously heard, we are replacing several players on defense, and our man Bud needs all the help he can get next Monday.  Tell your friends.

Sadly, I have to keep this brief. Much like Randy Shannon’s career at Miami.

Look, we all know why we hate Miami. There’s the bitter rivalry going back to the Big East. The huge games that swung someone into a big bowl game. But it seems like right now, there is one thing that really grinds our gears…

Fucking. Swagger.

This swagger shit is so unbelievably played out that we don’t know where to start in breaking it down.

I guess we’ll start with last year. 9-4 huh? A loss in the Champs Sports Bowl? Yeah man, SWAGGER!!!

They haven’t won a conference championship since 2003. They haven’t won a National Championship since Nebraska was good (remember that?). But really guys, SWAGGER!!

As I said in my preview for RSS, if you want Swagger, go pick up Flogging Molly's first album. The shit is awesome.

No one ever says, “Oh man, the Pirates were good in the 90’s, I bet they are going to tear it up in 2010!” Because coaches change, programs change, and players change (you know, since changing players is kind of a central tenet of college sports). I know it’s not just Miami (see Notre Dame, Michigan, the entire SEC). But Miami is certainly the main perpetrator in the ACC.

But this year’s group? They’re different. They’ve got SWAGGER!! They’re so badass, they don’t even need to be good at football.

Here’s how the season will break down for the Hurricanes:

• September – ESPN says, “OMFG Miami is swagger-tastic!”
• October – Lose a devastating game by 30 points, drop from #3 to #22 in the polls.
• November – Lose 3 more games, fire Randy Shannon, hire shit coach, repeat past 3 years.
• December – NOT play in the ACC Championship Game and lose in some crap bowl in Des Moines.

So we've got two things to say to Miami AND ESPN...

See you in November, bitches.

Lifted from We Bleed Bourbon.  Enjoy.

No idea what's going on here, but it's bad football.

We figured that, since these guys are two of the most forgettable teams in the conference, we'd combine them into one.

Yeah yeah, we know Wake Forest won the ACC a few years back. But you know who doesn’t remember that? EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COUNTRY.

Don’t forget, that year we rolled into.. umm.. where the hell is Wake Forest? I dunno, some shit North Carolina town. Anyways, we rolled in there and absolutely embarrassed them that year. As we usually do.

And that mascot? Well, let’s just take a look shall we?

Get your fat ass back here…

As for NC State… well, where to start. Remember when you were at least good at basketball? Nope, neither do we.

There was that one game back in 2004, when we gave up like 17 sacks and you beat us. Know what else happened that year? We won the ACC in our first year in the conference. Whatevs. NBD.

At least ya’ll didn’t have a complete asshat douche bag for your best player in the past decade…

Oh. Right.

So we’ll see you out there, not-UNC-or-Duke. Blow RMFW a few kisses as he runs by.